Things I Hate

Dear Blog,

Why do I always screw shit up?

Things I Hate:

1) Bags of potato chips. It's not that I hate potato chips, actually I like them. I just hate the bag. They never fill it up all the way, they never even fill it up a meager half of the way. They put about 15 potato chips inside the bag, no matter what size the bag is, and then seal it and slap a 99 cent stamp on it. Plus the bag's always greasy, and not the good kind of grease, but the bad kind. It makes for an unenjoyable eating experience.

2) 50 Cent's album(s)

3) When you carry something really heavy with your left arm, (and only your left arm) so that when you move it afterward, it kind of quivers unhappily, while your right arm watches bemused.

4) Charley horses.

5) Charley horses in both legs at the same time. This has only happened to me once, (I'm blessed, thank God) and I can't imagine anything to be worse than that.

6) The first floor of the union at 2 AM. There's no one around and it's realllly lonely.

7) Pumpkin pie

8) Davidson cheerleader uniforms designed to fit little kids.

9) Davidson cheerleaders who can wear uniforms designed to fit little kids.

10) Those obnoxious sunglasses that cover up entire human faces. Included here are key rings that say things like "Your village called. They're missing their idiot."

11) Noun/verb disagreement

12) Misspellings

13) Hatas. Playas. Cheatas. Ballas.

14) Sleeping.


I may have lied about # 14.

P.I. Staker