Clowning Around

Dear Blog,

This is so exciting! I made an 83 on my psychology test!

On a somber note, I'm a little sad, because I've skipped psychology a couple of times and on one of the days I skipped the profesor had everyone stand up and cover their nipples with their hands. I would have really enjoyed that.

I once read a book about a boy who fell asleep by playing a game of chess in his head. He'd set up the game and move the pieces on both sides, all in his mind, but he'd never finish it. That used to be the thing I looked forward to all day, falling asleep to a certain day dream. Not so anymore, blog. Now I don't have time to set up my dreams for the night, I just crawl in bed and pass out.

Yesterday night was a blast. In preparation for a play, the jesters and I were sent to the union by our fearless leader and told to "clown". "Clowning" is a very simple thing, it's a form of miming where you treat everything you encounter the way a little child would treat it, the key to this being wonder. You have to be completely entranced in what you're doing, that others can't help but notice, walk over, and wonder too. You can't talk either.

My night began in the union with a little computer playing. I sauntered over to the desktop and began pressing keys, pulling out the mouse, and crawling in the cupbard underneath the monitor. People noticed, but just thought I was drunk.

And, let's be honest, I kind of was.

I was not satisfied with this computer. (Typing the letter "Q" repeatedly, though fun, can only entertain for so long). So I went into the cafe and bought a bag of ritz chips, a slice of pizza, and "this many york peppermint patties" (the small kind). I proceeded to some chairs and tables just outside the cafe and set up shop. I took every chair, turned it over, and made a perimeter around the tables. Then I took my ritz crackers, opened the bag, and spilled them everywhere. I motioned for Jeremy, the guy who works in the cafe. He laughs, comes over. I'm telling him what to do with my hands - the Ritzes need to be put into piles, 5 crackers in each pile. He's good at this, I tell him, which is true. Next come the peppermint patties. We unwrap every single pattie, and then place one wrapper in each of the four corners of the tables. Again, Jeremy's good at this. Back to the Ritz crackers, I motion for Jeremy to make a smiley face with our piles, which he helps me with.

Unfortunately my plan was foiled by Rob running over and stealing my crackers, the bastard. Jeremy had to get to work, so I entertain myself with the cleaning crew vacuuming. I'm hopping all over the cords, crawling around on my hands and knees following this guy, and all the while kids in the union are laughing at me. Or with me? With me.

I'm on the ground crawling around, making a big to-do over picking up every single Ritz cracker from the carpet (I can't leave all my shit to the cleaning crew, can I?) when this girl crosses in front of me, says "sorry" and walks on. I follow her on the ground, crawling. Apparently she thinks she'll find sanctuary in the cafe with her friends. She obviously doesn't know who I am. I follow her into the cafe and see that she's quite freaked out by this whole thing. Lauren's in there as well, trailing another person, mimicking her motions. The girl I'm following is about to break down and cry so I take that as my cue to exit. Once outside, Nathan gathers the gang together and sings our praises aloud with alot of "that was fucking amazing!" and "you were so good with getting people involved". Werd.

We go back inside to explain ourselves, and I book it to Jeremy and that girl I trailed. Jeremy's calling up people, saying, "Dude, you gotta get over here. These people are fucking crazy." He loved it, and laughed when Maria told him what was going on. The girl I trailed, however, did not enjoy it so much. She eyed me liked she hated me, but I guess that's just a by-product of her being a bitch. I apologized, and she said that maybe we should do this in the union during the day when people aren't as high strung as they are at night, trying to get work done.

I wanted to point out a couple of things to her:

1) Everyone loved it, except for her. Even the cleaning guy, Ricky, had a laugh or two at what was going on.
2) People will always be high strung at this college, no matter the time.
3) We're not going to drink during the day. That's just depressing.


Sincerely,

P. I. Staker


P.S. - I feel kinda bad for that last paragraph. I can see how it can be kinda rough when you have work to do, and there's people clowning all over you. Ahhhhhhhh'm sorry, you're not a bitch, and I promise that if you promise to lighten up a little bit next time we go clowning, then I won't torment you with my presence.